IT IS In THE SHARING OF TRUTH & EXPERIENCE THAT the CONSCIOUSNESS OF HUMANITY WILL RISE
Hello and welcome to my website.
I am Esther and I'd like to introduce myself to you by sharing with you my truth and experience,
because it is this that has led to me creating this Leadership Consultancy and Educational company.
I have worked in leadership roles within large global corporations for over 20 years.
8 years ago, I found my Self to be in a place that I had never imagined for one moment, that I would, that place being rock bottom.
After reaching what I believed to be the dizzy heights of success, in a senior leadership role within one of the worlds' largest global organisations, with the accompanying perks and 6 figure salary, that I had relentlessly pursued for many years, it transpired that instead of feeling happy, fulfilled, and all the other emotions that one expects are intrinsically linked to Success, that I actually felt at polar opposites to all of those.
It turned out in my experience, that the stress, struggle and striving for, was not worth it.
Because I see now that in the quest for success I had become so separated from my sense of Being - my true Self, that I had to all intents and purposes, sold my Soul to the corporate machine.
I was indeed at rock bottom, emotionally, mindfully, physically and spiritually - although I had no awareness of that latter part of myself, at that time this was far to woo-woo for my serious corporate persona to even consider!
But the good thing about being at rock bottom
as I have now considered, is that I felt the rock within me, the unbreakable part.
Which I know now is the being within me, my Spirit.
I had an inner intelligence at the time,
that it was not the prescribed medication
for my mental health that I needed, no I needed healing at a much deeper level.
And so, I did not take the prescribed medication and instead I paused for thought,
something I had never done on the relentless treadmill of the corporate system.
I surrendered in that time out, and I allowed the unbreakable part of me; that I was witnessing with some level of suspicion and scepticism, it has to be said! take over running the show. After all my mind had given up, my body had too, I was literally bedridden, exhausted from the great STOP that the Universe had delivered to me. (I see now that not all adversity is as it seems) And so, what did I have to lose?
Despite being overwhelmed with an overriding sense of pointlessness, there was a part of me that was still fighting for survival, and although I wasn't sure what for at the time, I stopped trying to control the outcome and although I am not religious, I started to pray to the Universe.
And in this surrender, I connected with this unbreakable part, who felt rather like a wonderful friend, comforting, safe, caring, protecting, brave, fearless, strong, solid, and oddly joyful even in moments of despair.
This part of me felt most definitely enough. I didn't know it at the time, but I know now that this part of me is my Spirit, the being inside my human being.
And so began my journey, my returning home to me through a process I call my Navigation of the Self.
I have spent a long time healing and doing a great deal of considering!
I see now that I was not unworthy, undeserving, not clever enough, not good enough, not confident enough, not enough... the list goes on, you may recognise some of those.
The fear-based imposter syndrome debilitating thoughts that I painfully dealt with every single day..... the reason I felt like an imposter in my leadership, was because I was having to conform to a way of leadership that required me to be an imposter!
To think, feel and behave in way that was not me.
I did not fail in my leadership, It was the systems and the structures and the outdated definitions and concepts of leadership that failed me.
CONNECT WITH ME
Thank you for taking time to read my words. If you feel ready to look within, to explore your own sense of Self, to find your being, to take responsibility as a leader - an 'ability to respond' to changing times and emerge in a new way of leadership - that will in time become "the new normal" I would be honoured to work with you.
